Friday, 9 May 2014

I Had Better Not Been Born at All Than to Be Born a Loser

Remember when I was excited about James Storm turning heel?

Image © Mike Kalasnik via Flickr.

The slow burn, the fake apology, the sudden betrayal. I loved it.

But that was then.


Now I think this heel run is the biggest botch since Brian Stiffler's at Sacrifice.

Let's look at the Cowboy's last four months. How many singles matches has he won?


That's right: former TNA Heavyweight Champion James Storm can no longer win a match alone.

It's like TNA have given up on him.

And it seems like he's given up too, judging by his match against Willow.

There was no reason for him to go for the DQ loss.

But reasons don't matter. What's important is how these matches make Storm look.


Don't get me wrong. I love Storm as a heel. After all, it worked for Beer Money.

Storm has the right presence to be a villain, and out of the ring, he's right on the money.

The problem is that he's all mouth and no trousers.

A villain who never wins is no threat. We know he's not going to succeed, so we stop caring.

His opponent becomes a boring Invincible Hero.

The fans switch off.

Or to put it another way: when James Storm loses all the time, he and Gunner look bad.

So how could we have fixed this?

By having Storm win.

Storm has lost to Gunner three times since the betrayal in February: at Lockdown, on Impact, and at Sacrifice.

But imagine if Storm won the first two.

Say at Lockdown, he put Gunner in handcuffs.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia.

And on Impact, he could've used the beer bottle.

He doesn't care about beating Gunner clean. He just wants to cut him down.

But every time, Gunner comes back and demands another match.

No matter what Storm does, Gunner won't quit.

And that's why they end up in an "I Quit" match at Sacrifice.

From there, things play out as they did at Sacrifice.

Gunner takes everything Storm gives, refuses to give up, and makes him quit.

That way, both of them look strong: Gunner for his determination, and Storm for his victories.

But what about that match with Willow?

Well. Why not kill two birds with one stone and have Ken Anderson be the reason why Storm abandoned the match?

Have Anderson and Gunner's match play out as it did on Impact.

But during Storm's match, have Anderson come out and join Taz and Mike Tenay on commentary.

Then Anderson would be both hilarious and a distraction for Storm.

Storm's expecting Anderson to get some payback. And after a while, he's sick of waiting.

He gets the beer bottle, shoves Brian Hebner out of the way, and goes after Anderson.

There you go: a reason for Storm to quit the match with Willow, and a start to an Anderson and Storm feud.

It doesn't take much to fix this sort of problem.

But until TNA do, I'm going to keep complaining.

Because Storm deserves better.

Image © John Jewell via Flickr.

Sorry. Not sorry.

– Stark

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