We've got patriotism everywhere, but no mention of winning a gold medal with a broken frikkin' neck?
You're slipping, Kurt.
But how was the episode itself?
Staring with the Knockouts, Brittany appears to be over her Madison Rayne crush.
The set-up for this was too obvious. And after the slow-burn of James Storm and Gunner, I thought TNA understood that.
Still. We do need more heel Knockouts right now.
And heel Knockouts brings us to the Beautiful People and Kurt Angle's best decision ever.
Swapping out Brian Stiffler for Brian Hebner.
Thank you, Kurt.
And Angelina Love's match with Gail Kim was good, apart from the ending.
It seems to me that a no contest and keeping the belt is the better option.
Even so, it was a good match, and congrats to Gail.
And on the topic of Hebners, Earl is back! His two week getting fired storyline was so worth it.
And incidentally, Samoa Joe not trusting Kurt isn't heelish.
It's common sense when you think about how many evil authority figures TNA has had in the last few years.
Kurt's other best decision of the evening was the street fight between Kenny King and Bobby Roode.
This match was good, if short. But King still hasn't won a match since re-entering TNA. It's getting sad.
Also on a losing streak at the Menagerie, who are getting desperate for money.
I hope this drives them somewhere dark. That could be fascinating.
Oh, and a match with the Wolves ending that quickly is a sin, TNA.
Now you know I mark for the Wolves.
But you may have noticed me marking for somebody else on Twitter this week.
Yep, he's returned, and allied himself with EC3 against Bully Ray.
I will spare you my rant about how Bully should be the hell for wanting to assault a non-wrestling civilian. You probably saw it on Twitter.
Also the rant about why I'm on Rhino's side no matter what.
Partly because it's linked to EV2.0 shenanigans from 2010. And partly because that's now this week's opinion post.
I will say that Bully and EC3's match was good, though.
Shifting gears, I hope Christy Hemme doesn't become friends with Samuel Shaw now.
Yes, his character progression is fascinating. Yes, he apologised. Yes, it seemed sincere.
But Hemme has no obligation to accept it after he stalked her.
And if she does, that's sending a sorta squicky message to the audience.
Gunner is still awesome, though.
In other news, "Spud Across America" should not have been on this show. Feel ashamed for your padding, TNA.
And finally, the Heavyweight Championship match.
Was it short? Yes. But it did everything it needed to.
It showed how tough and determined Eric Young is. And yet it also made Bobby Lashley look like a monster.
It surprised me. And I liked it. Favourite part of the evening.
This episode was decent and enjoyable enough for what it was.
And you can't say fairer than that.