Sunday, 14 September 2014

She's A Killer Queen

I don't watch WWE. But I have a friend who does.

Image © WWE courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

For the most part, he likes the show. But if there's one thing he hates, it's the way that the Divas' division works.

And so today, I'm going to use what he's told me of the Divas to explain what it is that TNA is doing right with the Knockouts.

According to my friend, the most obvious problem with the Divas is that most of them have the personality of a rotten banana skin.

AJ Lee and Paige are likeable. And if Stephanie McMahon counts as a Diva, then she is too.

But the rest? A black hole of charisma.

Not so with the Knockouts.

Are they thespians? No. But they all have their own verbal quirks and personalities.

The Beautiful People are the pretty popular girls. Madison Rayne is determined. Gail Kim is the strong confident veteran.

Image © Mike Kalasnik via Flickr.

And they're all pleasant to listen to. They don't have any grating verbal tics. More on that later.

But is talking all that important when we have wrestling?

Well, that's problem number two: most of the Divas can't wrestle. Or they aren't allowed to.

AJ, Paige and a few others can.

But do they get screen-time? Of course not!

The WWE are too busy putting on asinine segments with Jerry Springer to have women wrestle each other!

Not so with the Knockouts.

Do they get as much screen-time as they deserve? No.

But when they do, they wrestle. And for the most part, they do it well. Especially our Knockouts champion Gail Kim.

Which is another problem with the Divas. The WWE don't care about their belt.

They give Brie and Nikki Bella more screen time that the Divas champion and her challenger.

And then they shoehorn the Bella Twins into the championship plot for no decent reason.

Image © GabboT via Flickr.

In other words, they ignore the good so they can force more of the bad down our throats.

Which brings us to the final, biggest problem with the Divas.

Their storylines are awful.

Brie and Nikki Bella have some of the most terrible lines ever given to a performer. "I wish you'd died in the womb", anybody?

Nikki can't stop saying the phrase "Y'know". It's worse than Hulk Hogan saying "brother".

And Paige and AJ aren't doing much better with their psycho lesbian frenemies schtick.

Has TNA had some bad storylines with the Knockouts? Sure.

After all, you could equally call Brittany's obsession with Madison a psycho lesbian crush.

But Madison herself, Gail Kim, Taryn Terrell, Havok, even the Beautiful People?

Their focus is on the Knockouts Championship. Their focus is on the competition.

Their focus is on the wrestling.

And that's where it should be.

So what's the short reason why Knockouts are "better than Divas"?

Image © Pedrohoneto via Wikimdedia Commons.

Because TNA don't just let their women wrestle. They encourage their women to wrestle. They celebrate their women's wrestling.

Divas are eye candy amateur actors. Knockouts are wrestlers.

And that is what's wrong with the Divas.

– Stark

No comments:

Post a comment