Ugh. This episode of Impact.
I've been putting off this review because it was just so... meh.
Maybe I was in a bad mood. Or maybe it was all the dull flashbacks.
If the end of year filler episodes are this boring, I'm turning to drink.
Twenty-six minutes until the first match? No. Just no.
Now for the Knockouts.
Gail Kim's rematch with Havok was lacklustre. Probably because "Fight through injury but ultimately lose" was how Gail lost the belt in the first place.
Didn't grab me.
And as for Brittany... well, I have a little request.
This is wrestling. Not porn. So could she spend less time dry-humping Samuel Shaw on air in future, please?
Oh, and Gunner is now calling Shaw a creepy bastard. So much for trying to be his friend, then.
Speaking of creepy, Manik is already in the ear of Mahabali Shera, the new guy from India.
And James Storm is still whispering to Davey Richards like the devil on his shoulder.
Maybe he's lonely. After all, he's the only white guy in his supposedly redneck revolution right now.
Then again, Davey's from Washington. So he's not exactly a redneck either, is he?
As for other non-Americans, Bram and Magnus lost to Devon and Tommy Dreamer.
Look. I know Devon and Dreamer are hardcore legends. But Bram and Magnus are up-and-coming stars.
Please cut them a break. After all, you let EC3 beat Sting, Kurt Angle and Bully Ray.
Just give them a chance.
And I didn't like who won the tag team tournament either.
Don't get me wrong. I love the Hardys. My brother's love for them was the reason he forced me to watch wrestling when I was a child.
If it weren't for the Hardys, I wouldn't love wrestling.
But they've had two shots at the tag team championship already. They had a one-on-one match with the Wolves, and they were part of the tag team hoedown.
Low Ki and Samoa Joe haven't had a shot yet. So why on Earth wouldn't you give them one?
So was there anything I did like on this show?
Well. There was Rockstar Spud calling EC3 a wanker and a big-nosed douchebag. That was indescribably amazing.
Also amazing was the way he threw himself at EC3 to avenge Jeremy Borash. And Eric Young coming in to lend a hand was bad-ass.
And that's why #ImWithSpud, folks. Best part of the episode.
And finally, the Heavyweight championship picture.
I don't know why MVP got a title shot. I don't know why he and Bobby Lashley are apparently no longer friends. And I don't know why TNA are breaking up their team when they never got a name in the first place.
And I don't particularly care.
Bobby Roode is still an awesome champion, though. So there's that.
This episode was a cavalcade of mediocrity with one sparkling gem.
You can do better than this, TNA. And next week, I want you to prove it.
Related Post: TNA Impact: UK Air Date 2nd November 2014